Hi, my name is Sam, and I’m a lazy smart home addict. I didn’t plan for this to happen—it started with one smart lightbulb and spiraled into a full-blown lifestyle of not getting off the couch unless absolutely necessary. And now? I can’t go back. I won’t go back.
This is my confession. Judge me if you must. But I know I’m not alone.
It Started with the Lights
One day, I bought a smart bulb on sale. That was it. I just wanted to turn the bedroom light off from my phone. Harmless, right?
Next thing I knew, I was yelling “Alexa, lights!” every time I entered a room like I was commanding a Broadway spotlight crew. Manual light switches? Can’t relate.
But here’s the thing: once you taste that convenience—that sweet, sweet glow without movement—you want it everywhere. So I did what any lazy smart home enthusiast would do: I added voice-activated everything.
My Mornings Are Automated, Just Like Me
Alarm clock? Gone. I now wake up to a carefully choreographed routine of lights slowly brightening, gentle music fading in, the blinds opening to let in sunlight (or fog, let’s be honest), and my coffee machine starting to brew.
I didn’t do any of that manually. I haven’t touched a blind cord or pressed a coffee button in months. I use a smart home hub (shoutout to GONEO for making this way too easy) to schedule everything. I used to be late every morning. Now my house is more punctual than I am.
Chores? Let Me Introduce You to My Robots
Vacuuming? My robot does it. Laundry reminders? Automated. Trash day? My home sends me a notification. My fridge tells me when I’m low on eggs. I’ve outsourced my brain to my appliances, and honestly, it’s freeing.
I once considered folding laundry a form of cardio. Now, I sit on the couch while a robotic vacuum bangs repeatedly into my coffee table like a persistent but clueless little helper. I cheer it on. We’re a team.
The Downside: Losing All Sense of Physical Effort
Here’s where the laziness hits hard: I now find it inconvenient to walk across the room. I’ve stood in my living room and asked Alexa to turn on a lamp that was within arm’s reach. It wasn’t a proud moment.
Even worse? I’ve had friends over and told them, “Don’t touch that switch—it messes up the automation.” Imagine being too lazy to manually operate a light because you’d have to re-sync it later. I’ve become that person.
My Smart Assistant Is Judging Me
Sometimes I think Alexa (or Google, or Siri) is silently judging me.
The other day, I asked, “What’s the weather?” and before I could even finish my sentence, the assistant replied, “It’s 75 and sunny—maybe go outside today.”
Excuse me?
I’ve also started getting passive-aggressive energy reports. GONEO’s dashboard showed me I used 27% more energy than last week, with a helpful note: “Consider turning off unused devices.” I mean… yeah, but also, ouch.
I Still Pretend I’m Doing Things
To make myself feel better, I pretend I’m “managing” the home, even though the house does most of the managing.
“Oh yeah,” I say on Zoom calls, “I need to adjust the thermostat before I leave.” What I really mean is: I pressed one button from my phone while still wearing pajama pants.
And when people ask if I cooked dinner, I say yes—because I did! I tapped my smart oven to preheat while lying in bed. That’s still cooking, right?
I Can’t Stay Anywhere Without Smart Tech Now
The moment I enter a hotel or friend’s house and realize there’s no smart speaker, no automatic lights, no way to control the temperature with my voice—I panic. I forget how thermostats work. I miss my routines. I miss my buttons.
I’ve become a monster.
But Hey, It’s Not All Bad
Look, being a lazy smart home addict has its perks. I save time. I save energy (sometimes). I sleep better because my lights know when to dim and my playlist knows when to fade. I feel secure because I can check my doorbell camera from anywhere, and I always know if someone opened a window.
With smart home hubs like GONEO helping me tie everything together into one app, I don’t have to juggle five different platforms to make my life run smoothly. It just works. It’s not magic—it’s automation. And it feels like magic.
Final Confession
Yes, I’ve asked my smart assistant to turn on a light from three feet away. Yes, I’ve yelled at my microwave because it wouldn’t connect to Wi-Fi. And yes, I’ve become dependent on a network of machines to manage my everyday life.
But honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to tell my house to start warming up the shower. With my voice. While I finish this coffee. That I didn’t make.
Living the dream, one lazy command at a time.
